I'm bored out of my mind right now.  Nothing is going on and it bothers me.  I'm just sitting here with nothing to do but struggle.  Yeah, most people after being kidnapped and held hostage would be flipping out, but not me.  I'm glad.  I'm glad I was taken away.  I can't stand anyone I live with.  My mom is a snob and my dad is even worse.

When I took Faye, my first girlfriend, home to meet them, they were so rude.  The way they acted, you'd think they'd rather have me be gay than be near a girl that goes to public school.  I never have luck with girls.  They always drop me for somebody else.  That's probably why I'm here now.

My parents had me learn all sorts of prestigious forms of martial arts and fencing just because they had the money for private lessons.  I could've fought off my kidnapper.  She, yeah, she looks like she's only a few years older than me and had a terribly executed choke hold on me.  I could have easily flipped her around in front of me and used a roundhouse to knock her out.  I guess I wanted to just give up. 

She's been yelling on the phone to my dad, I guess because she kept saying, "What do you mean am I his girlfriend?  It's none of your business whether or not I go to a country club.  You should be concerned with the possibility of me sending your son home in a body bag or as a girl, if you even get the chance to see him again."  I laughed under my bandana gag at how funny it would be to imagine my parents receiving that call.

My mother would be yelling at the maids to polish silver or something while on her way to the liquor cabinet and dad would be making calls to his friend from the police department to find me and pistol whip me while he was at it.  Grandpa would be getting out his old musket and be pushing Grandma out of the balcony and say she took her, too.  I was told to keep quiet, but I couldn't help it.

After hanging up she made her way over to me, kneeled in front of me and pulled down my gag.  I'm not sure why, but she looked me right in the eye, and not in a 'I'm going to slice and dice you and enjoy it' kind of way.

"Your parents are going to give me the money and you can go," she said in a serious tone, "but after talking to your dad I could understand why you wouldn't want to."

I couldn't help but laugh again and look down, hiding my smile.  Thinking about it, she was pretty hot.  But what am I thinking?  I've been kidnapped and I'm enjoying it.  I think I heard about some sort of condition where people start to identify with their captor from my therapist, but I don't think that included this.

"Okay Neil," she said standing and keeping her strong demeanor.  "You can talk now, I just didn't want you to be screaming while I was on the phone."

What am I supposed to say in this position?  My etiquette classes never told me how to start a conversation under these conditions.

"Why are you doing this?" was all I could think to say.

"Your parents have money.  I like money."

"I have money, too.  I was left a ton of money when my one grandpa died.  I was too little to control it then, so my parents took most of it.   I'm the reason they have money."

"You don't have kids that I can take."

"So what?  You could've handled this differently."

"How?"

"Dated me and take my money."

She held back a laugh.  "I'm not a gold digger."

"So how about after you get the money from my parents, you go out with me?"

"I don't know."  That time she did laugh.  "How could we get away with something like that?"

"I could say that you had a blindfold on me the whole time and I couldn't see you, and you had a voice changer over the phone so when you'd meet my family they wouldn't be able to tell it was you."

"How can turn down such a good offer?"

"You can't."