Myrtle got dressed in one of her casual suits and headed off to work after dropping Lewis off at his day care.  Meredith had left the house before her, so she could only imagine what she was up to at the office.  She was either doing the considerate thing and not mentioning to everyone her birthday which would make her feel like an even older cow, or the wrong attempt at the considerate thing by planning an overly embarrassing surprise party so everyone would have an excuse to slack-off and get drunk.  She would make an attempt.

            She parked her car in her designated parking space across the street from the building, making her cross the busy street in front of the complex of stores and warehouses for about the thousandth or so time.  She never understood why her community college graduate annoying snot for a boss made everyone park somewhere crappy, but she dealt with it she was that offices manager in charge of PR, so she didn't complain.  Domain sites can be profitable, so it paid off to know more than anyone else at everything.  Anyway, after a while, Frogger could be fun.

            This day for her was an exception.  She tried to scurry across the street and unfortunately a brat with a learner's permit nearly ran her over and chose to add insult to injury.  After spraying her with mud and ruining her clothes, he chose to be eloquent.

            "Get out of the way, retard," as he put it, speeding pass with no disregard whatsoever.

            "This is just dandy," said Myrtle crossing the street and opening the front door to the office, or metaphorically put, the porthole to a sea of cubicles.

            "Surprise!" yelled all of her co-workers with a chorus of noisemakers.

            "Thanks guys," she said being polite.

            "No problem Miss Landreth," said Meredith's most-recent boy-toy Jerry.

            "Still, it's very nice of all of you, Jerry."

            "Hey, it was Meredith's idea," said her secretary Binny.

            "I should've known, Binny.  I take it there is cake and all that in the conference room?"

            "Yep, of course Miss Landreth."

"Well don't let me keep you guys, have fun and take it easy today guys.  The phones are sent to the answering service today anyways."

            "Thank you ma'am!" said Binny with the rest of the fifteen or so employees heading to the back, with the exception of Jerry and Meredith.

            "Yes, you guys can go into the supply room, I'll make sure you won't be interrupted."

            "Thanks Miss Landreth," said Jerry while being hauled off to the supply room.  "Oh and happy thirtieth birthday!"

            When everyone was busy partying and out of sight, she simply said, "But I'm only twenty-eight."

            Soon after, Binny came back in front where Myrtle was relaxing on her own and talked to her employer.

            "Miss Landreth?"

            "Yes, Binny?"

            "Won't you come back, we're cutting the cake."

            "No, I still don't have my figure back after Lewis, I shouldn't have any cake.  I'll balloon up over the weekend and by Monday you'll think a sumo wrestler is your new boss."

            "Please Miss Landreth," said Binny.  She really was a sweet girl and wanted her to loosen up.  She was only nineteen and was one of those dream assistants that brightened everything up.

            "Alright, but just because you're pushing me into it," said Myrtle adjourning to the conference room with Binny, to be greeted with a song.

            "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.  Happy birthday Miss Landeth, happy birthday to you," her employees sang.

            "Thank you guys, go ahead and eat that cake up," said Myrtle, trying to get out of the room as soon as possible.

            "Hey, what's going on?" asked Jerry, zipping up his fly as he came out of the supply room with Meredith tailing him.

            "We were just about to eat the cake after we sang happy birthday," said one of the programmers while picking up a slice.

            "Man, I missed it," began Jerry.  "Hey did you get to how old are you now?"

            "That's rude!" shrieked Binny, getting on the offensive for Myrtle's sake.  "You should know to never ask a woman her age."

            "Really, and anyway we already know she's thirty," said one of the office assistants while picking up a beer out of a cooler on the ground.

            "Still, we could've gotten to it, it's part of the song," said another office assistant grabbing the beer out of his friends hand.

            "Dude, Jake, don't take my beer, that's lame," said the recently robbed office assistant.

            "Well, Earl, you need to be ready for attack," said Jake to his friend.

            "Dudes, way off topic, we should be talking about how Miss Landreth is thirty.  It's her birthday man," said a female programmer by the name of Gina.

            "I'm thirty!" yelled Myrtle, leaving the room and dashing into the supply room to be alone.

            "One sec," said Meredith to Jerry, giving him a peck on the cheek to leave for the conference room.

            "Go away, I'm having a mental breakdown in private," said Myrtle, not wanting Meredith to bother about her.

            "Sorry, Myrt, but as your friend I'm supposed to prevent these breakdowns," she said wrapping an arm around her friends shoulders.

            "Oh, Ditzy, what am I supposed to do?"

            "Well, honey, you could start by talking the day off, and I'll go with you.  How does that sound?  We could go to your house and spend time with my three favorite men."

            "I thought the Korrigan brothers left town a month ago."

            "True, but I was talking about my other favorite men: Ben, Jerry and Jack."

            "I'm not screwing around with interns, sorry."

            "Very funny, but you know I meant ice cream and liquor."

            "Fine, but what about intern Jerry?  Leaving him alone, again?"

            "He can live without me for another twelve hours, we're going clubbing together at eight."

            "Lovely, I hope your plastic hip stands up," laughed Myrtle.