Characters

Brittanyman / Brittany Law

Fairyboy / Tim McPeters

Rachael Brennskag

Wayne Mowery

Anita Trailer

Iona Trailer

Scene 1: New Sidekicks and an Old Villain

NARRATOR

Tim McPeters and Wayne Mowery, out of their gratitude for Brittanyman saving them, became her apprentices.  Tim became her partner in justice, Fairyboy, with his magic stick of doom.  In essence, his costume is just a little fairy princess outfit with a mask and combat boots.  Tim's outfit was rather appropriate because it made him match Brittanyman.  Wayne just decided to become the computer geek.  On their first mission as a team, Wayne set up a communication system through headsets with a direct feed to each other within a two hundred mile radius, which was helpful considering Brittanyman and Fairyboy were fifty miles away in a camping ground and he would be able to hear everything they said.

WAYNE

[speaks to Brittanyman over headset]  So Brittanyman, since me and Tim are your sidekicks, and you know who we are, could you tell us your secret identity?

BRITTANYMAN

[speaks to Wayne over headset]  No!  If you guys knew who I was, it would put you in greater danger than you already are just being around me!

FAIRYBOY

Oh, you mean in more danger than I am walking through the woods in this get-up?  Yeah, I've seen Deliverance.

WAYNE

[speaks to Tim over headset]  Quit whining about it, I've got something to say.

BRITTANYMAN

Hey, is it- [gets cut off by Wayne]

WAYNE

[cuts Brittanyman off]  No, it's not that you shouldn't hate me because I'm beautiful.  It's something that's actually important.

BRITTANYMAN

Ha, ha!  You said it anyway!  [regains herself and pauses, getting back to the subject]  Okay now go ahead, what was it you wanted to say?

WAYNE

[sighs and begins to speak over headset]  Yes, now as I was saying, I found that information on the net about any criminals in town.  It seems Iona Trailer, [says under breath] I hate that bitch, [talks normally again] is back in town with her sister Anita, but she has a much shorter criminal record.

BRITTANTMAN

[speaks to Wayne over headset]  Yeah, well where are they?

ANITA TRAILER, IONA TRAILER

[jumps out from behind tree]  You mean us?

FAIRYBOY

Now that was unexpected.

BRITTANYMAN

I'll say.  So, go on, get them.

FAIRYBOY

This is my first day as a crime fighter!  You can't expect me to fight a couple of criminals on my own!  [speaks to Wayne over headset]  We could use a little backup!

IONA TRAILER

Yes, really Brittanyman, you can't expect your little princess to go against a couple of well-bred ladies like us.

FAIRYBOY

My name's Fairyboy!  Get it straight!

WAYNE

[says laughing]  A fairy making things straight!  [laughs]

FAIRYBOY

[yells over headset]  I thought I said I needed backup!

WAYNE

[stops laughing]  Alright, I'm heading out of headquarters as we speak.  Headquarters, head, ha!  [laughs and heads out of technology area in Brittanyman headquarters]

BRITTANYMAN

[speaks over headset to Wayne]  Wayne, you're such a pervert.

NARRATOR

A pervert Wayne might have been, but a surprisingly good technology geek all the same.  He was able to get to the woods where his friends and foes were in just a matter of seconds because of his newly developed Brittanymancycle, a motorcycle that went as fast as the Concord.

WAYNE

[hops off Brittanymancycle, runs over to Iona Trailer and smacks her]  That's right beotch, that's what you get for messing with me!

ANITA TRAILER

You brute!  How dare you attack my sister!

FAIRYBOY

Shut up and just get moving out of here before I show you what my magic stick can do!

WAYNE

Dude, you said magic stick!  [starts rapping 50 Cent song]  I got the magic stick.  I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice.  I hit the baddest chicks.  Shorty don't believe me, then come with me tonight.  And I'll show you maaagic.  What? What?  Maaagic.  I got the magic stick.

BRITTANYMAN

Right now if you haven't noticed the bad guys are getting away.  Man, you guys are terrible sidekicks!  And how come I didn't know about the motorcycle!

ANITA TRAILER, IONA TRAILER

[try to run away]  You can't get us, and you'll never get Rachael back!

BRITTANYMAN

Rachael!  Guys we have to go after them, they can't hurt Rachael!

FAIRYBOY

 [looks down at clothes and at Brittanymancycle]  Do you think I ride that in a dress?

WAYNE

Hey, I thought girls could ride it in a dress.

BRITTANYMAN, FAIRYBOY

Shut up, Wayne.

Scene 2: Evil Plans Revealed

NARRATOR

Through the forest Brittanyman, Fairyboy and Wayne rode uncomfortably on the Brittanymancycle, trying to find Rachael.  Thankfully, Iona and Anita led them straight to her in an abandoned warehouse.

BRITTANYMAN

[gets off of Brittanymancycle and goes over to Rachael to remove the handcuffs and get her out of the chair]  Rachael, are you okay?

RACHAEL

No, it's a trap!

[fences fall and enclose around everyone]

IONA TRAILER

[emerges from underneath hardwood floor]  Now I finally have you!  [guffaws]

BRITTANYMAN

What do you want?

ANITA TRAILER

[emerges from underneath hardwood floor]  Isn't it obvious? 

RACHAEL

Why do you keep coming from underneath the hardwood floor?

WAYNE

Hard wood!  [laughs]

BRITTANYMAN, FAIRYBOY

Shut up, Wayne.

ANITA TRAILER

Y'all seem to be missing the point.  We want to know who Brittanyman really is.  Don't you realize how much the National Inquirer would pay for a scoop like that?  Thousands or even millions.

RACHAEL

I could have told you that!

BRITTANYMAN

What? [beats Anita and Iona unconscious]  What are you talking about?  How could you possibly know who I am?

RACHAEL

Oh, I was just trying to get them to let you go so that they'd be left me and I could lie to them so they'd let me go without anyone knowing who you are.

FAIRYBOY

Next time, leave the villains to the professionals.

BRITTANYMAN

You mean the professional.  After all, you and Wayne are still just trainees.  That hardly qualifies you as masters.

WAYNE

Master! Ha!  [laughs]

BRITTANYMAN, FAIRYBOY, RACHAEL